maybe possibly it's a crush?
by punkmint
Summary: Rin is kind of really confused about his feelings towards Haru and doesn't know what to do about it. A rinharu fanfiction with some side soumako
1. Texting Time

**AN:** So this is my first time writing a fanfiction that isn't Drarry so I'm new to this! I hope you like it, please leave reviews because it means the world to me when you do! Music listened to while writing: /octoshroom/you-re-all-i-see

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Rin stared up at the top of his bunk. He could hear Nitori breathing on top and he tried to pay attention to his rhythmic breathing and the occasional toss and turn so he might fall asleep, but it wasn't working. Lately Rin had found it impossible to get to sleep and he wasn't sure why. Every night he would lie awake for hours and so many different thoughts would pass through his mind. At first they would start out as regular worries, what's for breakfast tomorrow, what would he do tomorrow at swimming, had he completed his homework, could he not go to sleep because he was forgetting something? After all those thoughts had been exasperated, he would then turn to scary and intimidating thoughts like what if Sousuke leaves, what if for some reason Rin couldn't swim with Haru again, what would have changed if his dad hadn't died, what would happen if he died, would anyone even miss him? Those things would pass through his mind and he would worry and worry until there was nothing to worry about. Then, finally his thoughts would turn to random scenarios that often involved him and Haru doing a bunch of stuff. At first it had just been Rin and Haru laughing together and talking together and swimming together, but lately it had gotten ... more intimate. They started kissing and playing and doing a bunch of other stuff that Rin wasn't even sure he wanted from Haru. It wasn't like he had a crush on him or anything. Right?

Rin tugged at his hair angrily and rolled around on his bed in frustration. He felt his cheeks and could tell that he was blushing. In his mind pictures kept popping up and all of them were about Haru. Even if Rin maybe probably didn't have a crush on Haru himself, he could totally see why someone might have a crush on him. The lovely navy blue hair, bright blue eyes that sparkled and came alive at the aspect of being able to swim. The way he sliced effortlessly through the water and the fact that he did actually seem to have some sort of understanding of how the water worked. The fact that even though he said he didn't care about winning, but he could still get fired up about it. The cute (albeit kinda strange) obsession with mackerel. All sorts of little things that Haru did were just really cute.

As Rin was contemplating this, his phone flashed to life. Before he picked up his phone, he noticed the little dolphin key strap which he had bought at a fair a long time ago. Why had he even bought this? Rin sighed and glanced at his screen. It was a text from Haru.

_I can't sleep. _

Rin stared at those three words. Should he reply?

_Neither can I. _

_I want to swim._

_It's like 3 in the morning Haru!_

_I still want to swim_

_Whatever_

_Why can't you sleep?_

_I just can't _

_Why?_

_I don't know okay a bunch of thoughts are keeping me awake_

_Oh _

_Yeah_

_Well do you want me to leave you with your thoughts_

_Idk_

_I'm going to go swim in the bathtub _

_School tomorrow_

_but swim _

_It's not even swimming you're just sitting in a bathtub. _

_I can dream Rin _

_Whatever, goodnight. _

_Bye. _

Rin turned off his phone and felt the intense sensation of wanting to throw it across the room. Instead he just stared at the little dolphin chain and wondered why the fuck he had been so happy when Haru texted him and why he had wanted so badly to continue the conversation but instead had played it cool. Rin held the dolphin and lay like that. Eventually his eyes started to close and as he fell asleep, still holding the dolphin key chain, he thought to himself maybe he did have a really tiny small minuscule crush on Haru.


	2. Happy Day

**AN:** So second update hooray! Please favourite and review :P Also I'm going away for two weeks and won't be able to update, however, I will continue writing chapters so I can publish lots when I get home.

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Rin woke up and Immediately wished that he hadn't. The sun was streaming through the Window, he could feel it burning on his eyelids. Nitori was fumbling around the room like he always did. Normally Rin was the one who woke up first, but lately because he hadn't been able to sleep, Nitori was now always awake before him.

"Rin-senpai I know you're awake!" Nitori said as Rin grumbled and put the pillow over his head. He mumbled incoherently into the bed covers.

"There's school today, you have to wake up."

Rin rolled onto his back and stared at Nitori with a loathing that was friendly and caring yet still portrayed the hatred of a thousand suns from being awoken. Nitori smiled uncertainly and then turned back to what he had been doing. Begrudgingly Rin sat up in bed and grabbed his cellphone to check the time. He had a snapchat from Haru in the bath and Rin smiled against his will.

"What are you smiling at like that?" Nitori said as he glanced over Rin's shoulder and looked at the screen.

"Is that Haruka-senpai?" Nitori smiled.

"Yeah it is", Rin said as he got up to eat breakfast, brush his teeth, and get dressed. After Rin put his phone down Nitori eyed him knowingly, but this was unknown to Rin as it always had been. Nitori had suspected for a while that Rin might like Haruka-senpai in a more than friendly way and with Sousuke saying things like "I can see why you're so taken with him." It only increased Nitori's suspicions.

Rin got dressed and gathered all of his school supplies together, his first class was English, which was always good news to him.

"I wish we didn't have English first." Nitori whined as they walked to their class.

"I bet if you practiced more you would be able to." Rin laughed.

"Speak English for me Rin-senpai and then I'll try to guess what you're saying!"

"money swag lol"

"Wooow everything English sounds so posh!"

They walked into class laughing and Rin quickly took his seat before fist bumping Sousuke as he walked by his desk. School went by as usual...kind of. Rin ended up spending more time thinking about a certain navy haired swimmer boy and whether he had a crush on him, instead of thinking about his studies. When it was finally time for swim club Rin had gone over and over in his head whether he did or did not like Haru. Sure he thought that Haru was really really attractive and he had a brilliant personality, but maybe he was just great great friends with Haru. Rin sighed as he got ready to tackle the whole swim team. He had been doing it now for about a week, but it was still quite a challenge. He was glad that Mikoshiba-senpai had chosen him but in the end he really didn't that he was the most worthy to be the swim coach. Rin sighed for what Sousuke thought was the fifth time.

"Rin, dude, is something the matter?" Sousuke asked, coming up behind Rin with a concerned look on his face.

"Everything is fi-" Rin stopped. Sousuke was his best friend, there was no reason that he shouldn't tell him. He didn't really know how Sousuke would react to the problem Rin was having concerning Haru, but as long as he didn't name names maybe it would probably be okay. Rin also knew that he could tell Sousuke about his feelings on being the captain.

"There's a few things on my mind lately I guess." Sousuke nodded for Rin to go on.

"Well be changing rooms soon, maybe I can talk talk to you about it then?"

"Sure thing, Nitori seems pretty upset about the room thing."

"Last night he was devastated, but he's he's a great guy and we'll still see each other in classes or at swim club."

Sousuke smiled and him and Rin started to leave the change room. Just before they went outside Rin saw his phone light up in his locker and hoped to god it was Haru.


	3. Tomorrow

**AN:** So I'm back from vacation and I've got the next chapter! It's slightly longer than the otherones and also at a part I have a song in it: /ZqxJ5oC7s1E Also during the part where I have the lyrics I want to note that you know its the song because its in italics. Please favourite or review if you like the story, it means a lot to me! :)

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"I'm going to miss you Rin-Senpai!" Nitori said, as Rin was packing his bags.

"It's not like I'm leaving forever..." Rin sighed and picked up his duffel bag. Today was the day he was moving rooms and sharing one with Sousuke. Even though it was a small event, Rin was still feeling mixed emotions. The most basic emotions being that he was still sad about leaving Nitori and he was happy to be staying with Sousuke. Then there was also that Rin was fairly certain that Sousuke would try to convince him to talk about what they had mentioned earlier.

Rin knocked on the door to his new room and heard Sousuke's muffled reply. Opening the door he walked into his new room. Sousuke was already lying on the bottom bunk.

"You can't have the bottom bunk."

"Ah but my dear Rin you see I already have it."

Rin scowled and Sousuke laughed. They eventually decided to duel it out and Rin won and claimed the bottom bunk as his own. It turned out, however, that these pleasantries were overlaying the subject that was bound to come up.

"What were you talking about yesterday at swim practice?" Sousuke said, hanging down from the top bunk.

Rin looked away. He had been talking about his feelings for Haru and how confused he was about it. Rin suspected that he had been harbouring feelings for Haru since they were young, but he was only realising that now and either way he had always been fairly bad at confronting his problems head on. _I'll make you swim for me! _What had he been thinking?

"Rin?"

"Yeah well I'm kind of confused at the moment..." Sousuke smiled, motioning for him to continue. "So, I like this person and I just have no idea how to confront the problem! I mean I think I've liked them for a really long time, but I have no idea how to tell them. Or in fact if I even want to tell them. I mean they're amazing, but what if they like someone else and just a bunch of what ifs and then if I did somehow end up magically in a relationship with them, than what if we broke up and it ruined my friendship with not only them, but all of their close friends?" Rin looked up at Sousuke, he had a pensive look on his face, as if he was trying to think up just the right advice to give.

"Well maybe you should talk to one of the mystery person's close friends and see if they like anyone, and then if it turns out they do you can try to see if its you or just go for it." Sousuke smiled. "Or maybe you should just jump right in and go for it. It couldn't hurt right? In the end if they don't like you back you can just work on getting over it so you can go back to normal and if you do break out you can try to do it on good terms and nicely so in the end you will go back to normal in that regard to."

Rin sighed, "but it's all so complicated!"

Sousuke laughed at that but didn't say anything else for a long time. Eventually Rin heard Sousuke's voice from above him.

"Would you mind telling me who it is? That you like I mean."

"Maybe later." Rin said. He trusted Sousuke, but he just didn't feel ready to share the information yet.

"Okay."

"Goodnight Sousuke."

"Night Rin"

Rin rolled over and checked the time on his phone. It was only 2:40 pm, not even late. Perhaps he should listen to music. He groped for his headphones blindly in the dark and eventually pulled them from under his bed by the left earbud. Scrolling through his songs, he came to just the right one. Tomorrow by Daughter. Perhaps it didn't match the situation, but for some reason it seemed to mirror his feelings.

_By tomorrow we'll be swimming with the fishes_

_Leave our troubles in the sand._

_And when the sun comes up,_

_We'll be nothing but dust,_

_Just the outlines of our hands _

The song started up and Rin found himself absentmindedly staring across the room. His eyes weren't focused on anything, in fact if you asked him to he wouldn't be able to tell you what he was looking at right away; first he would have to bring himself down from the clouds.

_By tomorrow we'll be lost amongst the leaves,_

_In a wind that chills the skeletons of trees,_

_And when the moon, it shines, I will leave two lines._

_Find my love, then find me._

If Rin was perfectly honest with you the song was making him want to cry. Sometimes music did that to a person. It was like, all his emotions were being taken and bundled up and then put into one song, and the feelings being shot back at him were making all of them bubble up and threaten to escape. In fact they were, Rin felt his damp cheeks and realised that he was crying. Not the loud and angry sobs that used to make his body shake after he fell off his bike and skinned his knee. This was the silent and slight tears that came only after you had realised the fact that everything was hopeless. The person you liked, maybe could even love, probably would never like you back. At night while Rin listened to this song, he felt as if it was a fact, like the possibility that Haru wouldn't like him back was not a possibility, but an actual fact that was written in stone.

_Don't bring tomorrow_

_'cause I already know_

_I'll lose you_

_Don't bring tomorrow_

_'cause I already know_

_I'll lose you_

_I'll lose-ding!-you_

Rin wasn't in the mood for texting. He wasn't in the mood for social media, for games. Rin wasn't in the mood for talking to anyone. Frankly at the moment he felt as if he didn't want to talk to anyone ever again unless it was Haru.

_By tomorrow I'll be left in the darkness,_

Rin was about to dismiss the fact that someone had just messaged him or whatever the ding was from, to forget it had even happened.

_Amongst your cold sheets._

A thought crossed his mind, what if that ding was because Haru had texted him? Would he really be willing to pass up the chance to talk to him?

_And your shoes will be gone,_

Rin glanced at his phone out of the corner of his eye.

_And your body warmth no longer beside me._

Everything in him screamed that he should pick up the phone.

_But don't bring tomorrow_

_'cause I already know_

Yet what if it wasn't Haru? He would undoubtedly feel horrible.

_I'll lose you_

Yes, if it wasn't Haru he might even end up feeling even more horrible than he had when he first started listening to the song.

_Don't bring tomorrow_

_'cause I already know_

At this rate he had hyped himself up enough that he would probably cry again if it wasn't Haru.

_I'll lose_

He would probably have to cry quietly into his pillow.

_I'll lose_

Rin squeezed his eyes shut and flipped his phone over.

_You_

The song ended and Rin opened his eyes, it was a text from Haru, it said hey. In the end Rin had gone through all that and all it said was fucking hey. It was a text from Haru though, which was good, but it still only said hey. In the end Rin replied with hi and then they talked about school and how Rin had changed rooms and was with Sousuke and how Makoto was thinking of adopting a cat. By the time Haru said goodbye it was 4 in the morning and Rin was having trouble keeping his eyes open. Rin shut down his phone and listened to Sousuke's even breaths. Rin's cheeks were still sticky from tears, but in the end he fell asleep feeling at least a tiny bit better.


	4. Am I Your Boyfriend?

**AN:** This is a special chapter everyone! It's from Sousuke's perspective and throughout the story I might add in different perspectives like Haru, Sousuke or Makoto. I'm almost done the next chapter already so don't worry about me taking as long as it did this time. Also an update! My new pen name is punkmint :0 Please review and follow as always ;)

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The next morning Sousuke got up and pretended that he didn't know Rin had been crying. That morning when Rin had gotten out of bed early, Sousuke pretended to be asleep and so he saw when Rin tried to sneak into the bathroom to wash away the tear tracks from last night.

Sousuke sighed. Whoever it was that Rin liked, and Sousuke had his suspicions, but were they really worth all that trouble? In Australia, Rin had always talked about Haru this and Haru that. At first it had really bothered him because and the time Sousuke had had a teensy crush on Rin. But later on, after the relay to be exact, Sousuke had stopped liking Rin and generally just grown extremely attached. So then when Rin kept talking all about Nanase and the people from Iwatobi, Sousuke had actually paid attention to what Rin was saying. By doing that he had realised that Rin really did care extremely deeply for all these people. Especially Nanase. Whenever Sousuke had asked if Rin might like Nanase as more than a friend, Rin would get all flustered and try to avoid the question. Which generally led Sousuke to believe that Rin did like Nanase in more than a friendly way. These suspicions were only furthered when Sousuke moved to Japan and was able to see how Rin acted around Nanase.

Sousuke checked the address on the scrap of paper for the fifth time. Looking up at the house in front of him, he wondered who was going to answer the door. He was under the impression that Makoto lived with his parents and two siblings. Gently shaking his head to dispel all worries, Sousuke walked up to the front door and gave three short knocks. He heard the sounds of running and a shout of

"I'll get it! "

The door was answered by a small girl who definitely resembled her older brother.

"Who are you? " She smiled, tilting her head to the side.

"Hey, uhm my name is Sousuke and I'm here to talk to Makoto if that's all right. .."

The little girl motioned for him to come in and Sousuke stepped into the house. At the same time Makoto walked down from upstairs. Complete with glasses and a beret in his hair. When he caught sight of Sousuke a smile lit up his face.

"Sousuke-kun!"

Sousuke cursed inwardly because, they had almost never talked and yet here was this angel fucker smiling like his favorite person had just walked through the door. If this is how he looked for an almost total stranger, Sousuke would have loved to see his smile for someone like his best friend.

"Hi Makoto, I was wondering if I could talk to you about something." Sousuke shuffled his feet, suddenly feeling awkward. "Sorry for coming on such short notice."

"It's fine!" Makoto nodded. "Why don't you come up to my room? I was just studying, but you didn't interrupt anything so it's fine."

Sousuke followed Makoto upstairs and they stopped in front of a plain white door that said _Makoto's Bedroom_ in bright blue letters. Once inside, he noted the black and white striped sheets on the bed, the tiny Orca figurine on the desk and the gaming console sitting on the floor with a small flat screen TV. A bunch of books were open on the desk with pencils and notes scattered all around them.

"Sorry if my room is a little messy." Makoto said as he sat down on the bed. "Why don't you sit at my desk."

Sousuke silently pulled out the chair and faced Makoto.

"So what is it that you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Uhm, well, it's just." Sousuke had went over what he would say at least a dozen times in his mind and yet here he was and he had no idea what he should say.

"So I guess, seeing as you have been friends with Rin for so long, you've already assumed the fact that Rin liked Nanase. Well the thing is that I'm ninety-nine percent sure that he does and I'm also pretty sure that Rin's pretty torn up about it." Sousuke paused and glanced at Makoto out of the corner of his eye, just to check that he was following. There was a slight frown on his face.

"Yeah. Anyone can see that they both care for eachother..." Makoto frowned and started playing with his glasses. It might have been Sousuke's imagination, but it sounded as if there was a sad undercurrent to what Makoto had just said.

"Well since your Nanase's best friend, I was just wondering if you think that Nanase likes Rin. If you think he does then I can tell Rin to go for it and stop being so emotionally torn all the time." Sousuke watched and waited. Makoto had taken the barret out of his hair and put it back at least three times and he kept going to mess with his glasses. After a couple of minutes, a sad and lonely expression graced Makoto's face.

"Of course he does. Like I said, anyone who looks at them can tell they like each other. I kind of wish it wasn't that way though..." Makoto sighed and then looked worried. "I shouldn't have said that, I mean I barely know you."

"Well, I was jealous of Nanase for a long long time. In Australia, Rin was always talking about him and it made me annoyed that he couldn't see that I was right in front of him. So I know how you feel." Sousuke tried his best to sound reassuring, although it was hard to do that without actually smiling. "And even if you don't know me that well... uhm I would like to get to know you better..." Sousuke could feel a small spattering of pink touch his cheeks. Makoto looked a little surprised, but then smiled.

"I'd like to get to know you better to Sousuke-kun!" Makoto reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out his phone. "Let's exchange phone numbers, and maybe we can meet up some time!."

Sousuke and Makoto swapped numbers and then went downstairs. They went into the kitchen and Makoto offered to make lunch, seeing as he was about to make some for his siblings anyway. Sousuke was hesitant, but agreed. While Sousuke was watching Makoto make pancakes, Makoto's younger brother came into the kitchen.

"Sousuke-kun, this is my brother Ren." Sousuke attempted what he thought was a pleasant smile. "Ren, this is my friend Sousuke-kun." Makoto smiled encouragingly at Sousuke.

"Hi." Was all Sousuke managed to say. Ren eyed him and then tugged Makoto down so he could whisper in his ear. Sousuke watched, but couldn't figure out what Ren was saying. However, he could have guessed based on the blush that spread across Makoto's face like wildfire.

"Sousuke-kun is just a friend Ren!" Makoto laughed nervously and shooed Ren out of the room.

"What was that all about?" Sousuke smiled, as Ren ran out of the room giggling.

"He asked if you were my boyfriend..." Makoto flushed at saying so and turned back to the pancakes.


	5. Umbrella

**AN:** Even when I write the chapter in advance it still takes a long time to upload! Sorry it's so short. I was in a rainy mood when I wrote it but it was like 28 degrees and sunny so I had to settle with rain soundtracks over music. In return for the short chapter, I made a cover photo for the story! Once again review and favourite ples ! I would love to know what you think of my story :-)

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Rin stared at the window and watched the droplets of rain hit the window and slithered down slowly to collect on the window pane. Even though his music was blasting through his headphones, he could still hear the rain beating down on the roof of the school. Sousuke had gone out somewhere this morning when it was still fairly sunny, Nagisa and he was out doing something with Rei, Makoto was looking after his siblings, Nitori and Momo were out together, and Rin didn't have the nerve to message Haru.

Rin sighed and leaned back at his desk, the rain was like music to his ears and it made him feel kind of nostalgic and conflicted. Glancing at his umbrella by the door, Rin looked out the window again. The rain didn't look like it had the intention of stopping anytime soon so Rin got up, stretched, put on his shoes and hoodie, and got his umbrella. As he walked through the school it felt strangely silent. It didn't sound silent, he could hear the rain and sounds coming from the different dorms, but somehow it felt silent. Like even though everyone was here it was like no one was actually around, and even though Rin could hear lots of voices, they were muffled and quiet.

As Rin stepped outside, he opened his umbrella. It was black with cherry blossom flowers and petals scattered all over it. In the end it looked like he had stood under a cherry blossom tree and the petals had gotten stuck to his umbrella. Normally it had always worked in lifting his spirits on rainy days, but today Rin was taking a certain type of pleasure in feeling small and anonymous. He walked out of the school yard and out into the street, watching his feet as they splashed in puddles and watching other peoples feet as they passed. The rain hammered down and it sounded like someone was knocking on the top of his umbrella. Passing stores crowded with people trying to escape the rain, Rin kind of wished he were with Haru right now. He would say something totally funny and totally Haru like.

"Your cherry blossom umbrella isn't as nice as my mackerel umbrella."

Rin looked up with a jerk of his head, to see Haru standing in front of him, holding a white umbrella that was covered in what looked to be tiny mackerel drawings.

"Did you draw those mackerel on yourself?"

"Maybe."

Rin laughed, he didn't feel so anonymous and small now.

"Where are you going?" Rin looked at Haru, expecting to hear something about pool or going to buy more mackerel, but instead Haru just shrugged.

"I guess I just felt like going for a walk. I like the rain."

"Yeah that's what I was doing." Rin was all but ready to go on his way, already quite happy with this brief encounter. Also, quite frankly, part of him wanted to leave due to the uncomfortable butterflies that were erupting in his stomach.

"Want to walk with me?" Haru motioned towards the park to their left.

"Sure." Rin said, if he had thought before there were a lot of butterflies, now there were billions. Rin and Haru walked side by side to the park, the wet grass scuffed their shoes and the droplets of rain fell in even more of a haphazard way as big drops are shaken from the trees. Haru and Rin walk in silence, side by side, Rin had no idea what Haru was thinking, but he wondered if Haru was glad to have bumped into him. Moving off the grass they started walking along the stone path, avoiding mud puddles when they came across them. As they reached the end of the park, an idea came to Rin.

"Haru, why are you walking around so close to Samezuka?" Once again Haru just shrugged and said "I felt like going for a walk." Rin rolled his eyes because who else would take the bus ride all the way to Samezuka just to go for a walk. Just after this thought graced Rins mind, a giant bang shook the world like a thousand fireworks going off at once.

"It looks like it's starting to thunder."  
"No shit Sherlock" Rin smiled.

"Well do you want to come back to my house?" Haru shrugged as he said this and colours exploded in front of Rin's eyes. Rin had gone to Haru's house from time to time, but Makoto, Nagisa, Rei, or a variation of the three had always been there.

"Okay." Rin said in what he hoped was a nonchalant way.

Haru started walking again and Rin just followed along. The lighting made a familiar cracking sound, too far away to really illuminate anything, but creating an interesting fork in the sky. Walking in silence, the thunderstorm gave Rin the impression that the whole world was about to open up and swallow them whole. At this point though, he figured that if he and Haru were to fall into the earth, leaving only their mismatching umbrellas behind along with the stampeding rain, he wouldn't really mind.


	6. I'm Not Crying!

**AN: **Not a very long chapter I know and I'm also sorry it took a long time to update but I just started school again so obviously I've had to deal with that. I also wrote the chapter and didn't like it so I had to start over with something totally different the next day! Please review, favourite, and follow if you like my story! Hopefully the next update will come sooner :0 (but no promises)

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After silently enduring the subway ride, they arrived at Haru's house. Rin had seen it countless times and remembered the walk up and the small empty house that always greet him. Haru unlocked the door, motioning for Rin to come inside. Rin shook out his umbrella, propping it up against the wall and hanging his coat on the pegs near the door. Rin looked around hesitantly and then followed Haru into the living room, where he sat down as Haru began frying mackerel in the kitchen while leaving the door open so he could still talk to Rin.

Rin laughed nervously, "Mackerel again?"

Haru didn't say anything, just looked back and smiled at Rin. Sitting there with nothing to do Rin started going through the few books and magazines that were on Haru's shelf.

_Swimmers Digest_, _Art of Mackerel, Water Life_, and _Lost at Sea_. Rin smiled when he saw the Art of Mackerel. Trust Haru to have found a book like that. He flipped through it quickly and it was mostly recipes and how to catch them, but a few pages were scientific facts. He put it back on the shelf and looked around, Rin felt kind of funny just sitting there. It was still raining outside and Rin lied down on the floor and listened to the drops hitting the roof like a constant hail of bullets.

"What do you want to do with your future?" Rin didn't dare glance at Haru as he said this, just stared at the ceiling and hoped he hadn't just blown his one chance of spending time with Haru.

"I don't know."  
Rin's annoyance forced him to look over at Haru, who was still calmly frying Mackerel.

"How can you not know? We swam together and you looked like you were having fun, don't you want to be a competitive swimmer?" Had that taken it to far?

"I don't know."

Rin glared at Haru's back. "Don't you want to swim with me?"

"Of course I want to swim with you!" Haru exclaimed, turning around to face Rin.  
"I just don't know if I want to swim competitively."

"Well if you don't swim competitively then how will we get to swim together?"

"We'll think of something!" Haru looked as if he was close to yelling.

"All I'm saying is you need to start thinking about your future, you can't just go to Iwatobi Swim Club every day and hope it will all work out."

"You didn't have any right to say that!"

"Don't you have a dream though?"

"I know that you have a dream, you want to take center stage and swim competitively, but did you ever think if that was really my dream?"

"Well than what IS your dream?"

"I don't know, but I do know that right now I just want to swim for myself and my friends." Haru cried.

Rin knew that the things he had just said were overstepping it quite a bit and that he had been putting some pressure on Haru lately to go competitive, but his mind was stuck on one little thing over and over. Like a scratched record on repeat. _And my friends And my friends And my friends. _

"Am I one of those friends?" Rin mumbled

"What?" Haru said with annoyance.

Rin glanced down and then back up to Haru's face.

"I asked if I was one of the friends you swam for." Rin said in a barely audible whisper.

Haru's eyes quickly softened and he sat down next to Rin, Haru looked uncertain for a moment and eventually, hesitantly, put his arms around Rin. "I will always swim for you." Haru mumbled into Rin's hair. A wobbly smile came onto Rin's face and Haru felt Rin shaking in his hold.  
"Are you crying?"

"I'm not crying!"

It was obvious that he was, but Haru wasn't going to say anything. For a while they sat there in each others embrace, Rin silently sobbing into Haru's shoulder and Haru taking in the smell of Rin's strawberry scented shampoo.

"_Why do we always end up fighting and crying?" Haru smiled as he pulled away to look at Rin's face. _

"I told you I'm not crying!"

"Whatever."

"But at least we make up right?"  
"I'm pretty sure our fighting would be considered important character development."

Rin smiled and tickled Haru, causing him to giggle and eventually they were both laughing. It was nice to laugh with Haru like this, like a couple of children they were sitting on the floor both breathless from laughing. Tears were still leaking out of Rin's eyes, but he knew that this time they were tears of joy and nothing else.


	7. Cafe Date

**AN:** Yay I think I updated pretty fast this time! So this fanfiction will probably be ending soon (although I havn't thought out an idea for it yet) I feel like a loser because I basically spent my whole birthday writing this chapter... (its today btw) A note on the chapters, I'm no longer trying to incorporate each episode, I just want to grasp the general feelings, ie Rin and Haru fighting.

* * *

Someone bumped into Sousuke's shoulder as he was walking down the street and he felt the familiar twinges of pain coursing through his arm. His shoulder had been doing okay for a little while, but he had gotten up to no good with Makoto last night because Rin had slept over at Haru's. Makoto had left early in the morning to go back home, and now they were meeting up at a cafe for a date. Sousuke hadn't known what to wear at first seeing as he had never had time for dates before. In the end he had called up Nitori to help him out. He could remember the whole thing quite clearly.

_Sousuke got up to answer the door and waded through the clothes on the floor. Opening the door revealed Nitori and Momo. _

"_Who said you could bring this guy?" Sousuke glared at Momo, but his eyes said that he didn't actually mind. _

"_Don't be so cruel Yamazaki-senpai, I just want to help!" Momo said as he leaped at Sousuke. Nitori held him back and smiled apologetically at Sousuke, who motioned for them to come in. They gaped at the clothes strewn around the room. _

"_How important is this person?" Nitori asked as he looked around the room and picked up a blue and white striped polo shirt. _

"_Important enough that I don't want to lose them and also want to make a good impression on our first date, if you could call it that." _

"_You should give them homemade cookies" suggested Momo._

_Sousuke glared at him and turned to Nitori. _

"_You have a good fashion sense so help me! I don't want to be late." _

_First they went through all the clothes that Sousuke owned. They even briefly went through Rin's clothes to see if there was anything that Sousuke might wear. Nitori and Momo made Sosuke try on a variety of outfits. It started feeling like a modeling show and then finally they decided on what Sousuke should wear. _

And that's how he ended up walking down the street in a baby blue v-neck, plaid over shirt sleeves rolled up to the elbows, a pair of beige shorts, and some random nice shoes that Nitori had dug out of the back of the closet. Sousuke hoped that he looked okay, if it had just been Nitori choosing he wouldn't be doubting himself right now but Momo didn't exactly have the best style.

He stopped outside the cafe and took it all in, it was a little white building with a big window to the left of the door that had a little red and white striped tarp over it. There were flowers cluttering the entrance and there was a little chalkboard with todays specials on it. Sousuke could see how this would be a place that Makoto would go. Sousuke wouldn't care if people found out about him and Makoto but the cafe was small enough that it was unlikely anyone they knew would be there and interrupt them.

The tiny bell above the door sent out a shrill tinkle as Sousuke walked in. He quickly spotted Makoto in the far corner and went over to join him.

"You look nice today Sousuke-kun!" Makoto smiled as Sousuke sat down. Sousuke felt his neck getting hot and hoped he wasn't blushing too hard.

"Well you look nice to.." Sousuke mumbled, embarrassed that he couldn't speak his feelings more clearly. Makoto was wearing a green long sleeved shirt, the black glasses that he normally opted out of for contacts, a pair of dark blue skinny jeans and brown combat boots. He probably looked much, much, better than Sousuke.

"Can I take your orders?" Inquired a waitress, wearing a frilly made skirt she smiled down at them.

"I'll have a cappuccino for now, and what about you Sousuke?"

"Can I just have straight black coffee?"  
"Of course, will that be all for now?"

"Yes thank you." Makoto smiled at the maid and than she was gone and taking their orders with her.

"I didn't know you liked your coffee black Sousuke-kun."

"When I was younger I couldn't stand it but eventually I came to enjoy it."

"I like all my coffee really sweet."

"That seems to suit you." Sousuke laughed. They began flipping through the menu. Sousuke felt his stomach twist, he had forgotten to eat breakfast.

"I think the omelet sounds really good!" Makoto exclaimed. Sousuke smiled at the cute expression on his face.

"I think I'll go with the same thing." Sousuke said absentmindedly. He never really had omelettes but he supposed it would probably taste fine.

"Are you ready to order lunch?"

"Two omelettes please."

"Will that be all?"

"Yes thank you."

As they waited for their food and sipped coffee, they talked about a multitude of things. Rin and Haru, swimming, Sousuke's shoulder, and of course their friends.

"I wonder why Rin ended up sleeping over at Haru's." Makoto said with a puzzled look, as if this was a mystery that needed solving.

"A multitude of reasons."

"Are you thinking what I think you're thinking."

"Maybe."

"Oh Haru."

"Don't worry they probably didn't do anything, Rin would be way too flustered."

They were laughing as Sousuke took his first bite.

"This is amazing!" Sousuke said, a little louder than he ment to.

Makoto started laughing and Sousuke glared, he was sure that now his face was bright red.

"Whats so funny..."

"Don't give me that face." Makoto pouted. "Your whole face lit up when you took your first bite."

"Whatever it's not even that good."

They both laughed and started to eat. Halfway through they both knew that there was a certain topic that needed to be brought up.

"So about us..." Makoto began.

"I'm fine if you don't want people to know."

Makoto raised his eyebrows. "Why would I want that?"

"I don't know."

"Do you want people to know?"

"It would be nice to be able to say you're my boyfriend, but we don't know each other to well."

"What if we don't say anything to anyone but our closest friends, but we still act like we are dating, than we only have to tell people we are dating if they ask."

"Sounds good, maybe later if we are still dating we can say it officially or something."

Sousuke smiled and then felt his heart do a flip flop. Makoto's knee was lightly brushing his and it made his face heat up and his smile turn all wobbly. Sousuke made eye contact with Makoto across the table and saw the knowing look in his eye as Sousuke felt Makoto's foot slide around his. Sousuke was nearly melting in his seat, wishing he could just reach out and touch Makoto, when the maid returned.

"Uhm Would you like some dessert?"

Sousuke felt like he wanted to curl up and disappear. The way the maid was looking at him she obviously understood the situation.

"I'll have the strawberry cake, Sousuke?"

"Green tea ice cream please..." He murmured.

Makoto continued doing some such things and Sousuke wanted to shrivel up and die. The dessert was good, but Sousuke could barely focus because all he wanted was Makoto. They left the cafe and as they were walking down the street Makoto grabbed Sousuke's hand and leaned in.

"My parents are taking Ren and Ran out to the museum tomorrow night..." He whispered into Sousuke's ear.

"So forward..."

"Oh that's nothing Yamazaki-kun!" Makoto smiled his angel smile and Sousuke sighed, as they walked hand in hand until they would have to part ways.


	8. Everything Wonderful

**AN:** So I will probably make one or two chapters more, one with reigisa, one with soumako, and then a ending Rinharu one! Whether or not I stick to that plan I can't really say, but it seems the most likely right now. I know that that this was an ESPECIALLY long time until I updated but idk I was having serious feelings over the recent two episodes.

* * *

Haru woke up and looked out the window, the sky was a clear blue. He closed his eyes and listened to Rin's steady breathing. Last night when Rin had come over, Haru had realised a few things. First of all, he hated seeing Rin cry, and second, maybe his feelings for Rin went a little past just the friendly type. Haru wasn't exactly one to think about his feelings. He loved mackerel and he loved the water and he was an introvert. Those were the things he knew about himself, but recently he had discovered that he also loved his friends. He loved his friends on a certain level that he didn't quite understand, in the morning when he saw Makoto playing with the white cat that always hung around or Nagisa helping Rei swim, Haru could feel his love for them swell and expand in his chest like a flower coming into full bloom.

With Rin it was different though, it was like at first all he could feel about Rin was drowned out by so many other things. Like the fact that Rin was gone and that he just didn't really know where his life was going. Before the swim club, Haru had tried cooking and drawing and it had helped, but late at night his mind had always backpedaled to the same thought. Rin Matsuoka. With his pinky red hair, sharp teeth, and adorable smile. Rin had been Haru's shining and then he had just gone away. It was like someone had blotted out the sun, placing a continuous cloud of smog over the most important and special piece of his life.

Then Haru had learned that Rin had come back from Australia and the clouds lessened, but they were still there because Rin hadn't come to visit. Somehow, even though Haru was so happy that his shining was back, the clouds were getting heavier and darker and more filled with rain. Makoto, Nagisa, Rei, and Gou were all there, but Rin wasn't and somehow it felt like nothing else had ever mattered as much as this. So Haru had swam with no real purpose at all, he had swam because he enjoyed it, and because he liked being with his friends, but nothing got his blood pumping like a race with Rin. Then stuff happened and it clicked, he wanted to swim for and with his friends. He wanted to not only swim for Rin, but swim with Rin. So he had found what he was looking for and he had wanted Rin to understand that, so he had told Rin and then Rin had cried and it felt like a twisting serpent in his gut. He hadn't really gotten what it meant then, but maybe now he did.

When the teacher had passed out the career path sheets, Haru had hit a brick wall. Everyone kept talking about getting scouted, they said he should be a competitive swimmer, but should he really? It didn't feel like he wanted that, it didn't feel like he loved swimming in that way. Haru didn't care about times or winning, right? Well with the help of Rin and his friends, he learned that actually he did care. He cared about swimming and being able to continue swimming and so he decided to care about times and winning because of that. Haru's dream turned out to be sitting right there in front of him the whole time. He wanted to swim. The bond that Haru had eventually formed with Nagisa, Makoto, and Rei through swimming was something else entirely. He trusted them so much and he loved them so much.

So through all that, now he's here. Lying next to Rin in bed. They didn't do anything, but that didn't stop Haru from thinking about it. Even after Rin had fallen into a content sleep, Haru had stayed awake trying to make out Rin's heart beat and not think about all the things they probably could be doing right about now. Haru didn't even know if Rin felt the same way. Sure he got the feeling that Rin loved him in some way, but what if it wasn't in the way Haru wanted. What way did Haru even want Rin? Somehow he was sidestepping around his feelings and yet still confronting them head on.

It was all so confusing, does he love me? Does he not? Do I love him? Do I not? Haru's mind had turned into a field of upturned daisies, each one asked the same questions and none of them giving the answer he wanted. Haru's mind was rambling on and on. All thoughts about Rin and all equally confused.

Haru felt a shift in the bundle beside him and looked over to Rin yawning and rubbing sleep out of his eyes. Haru smiled, he wouldn't mind waking up next to Rin every day.

"Well it's about time you woke up sleepy head."

Rin smiled at this and pulled the covers tighter around his shoulders.

"Shut up."

Haru laughed at this and slowly got out of bed, leaving Rin to stay curled up in his little burrito of blankets. Nitori always said that Rin woke up super early in the morning every day, but Haru wasn't seeing how that was possible. Still grinning slightly at the image of Rin as a blanket burrito, Haru absentmindedly stirred coffee and then brought it over to Rin.

"I made coffee Sleeping Beauty." Haru placed the warm mug on Rin's cheek, which successfully got him sitting up. Haru sat back down on the bed and shimmied under the covers, careful not to spill his drink. It was one of the most peaceful mornings Haru had ever had, just sitting there in bed sipping coffee with his favourite person in the whole world, the sun streaming through the curtains, putting Rins beautiful bed hair on display. Haru wanted to say something, anything, to explain to Rin what he was feeling, but he didn't want to ruin the moment so the silence continued. Anyway it wasn't like it was an awkward silence. Haru was content, Rin was content, everything felt right. Like finally putting the last jigsaw puzzle into place. Alought Haru mused, it wasn't the last jigsaw piece. He still had to figure out how Rin actually felt.

"I think I love you." Haru mumbled, more to himself than to Rin.

"What, I didn't hear you? Sorry I'm half asleep." Rin laughed and Haru's face went crimson. Had he actually just said that outloud? Rin had probably heard what Haru had said, but just couldn't quite process it fast enough. At that moment Haru knew what he had to do. He gripped his coffee mug with both hands and leaned over, closing his eyes, Haru's lips were smashing into Rins and it was like a collision of everything wonderful.


End file.
